Today, upon seeing the bus 700A promtly arrive as I set foot into the bus stop, I muttered under my breath, "Thank You, God" and somehow this warm feeling came over me. And then I realised,  How long haven't I spoken to You? And the whole bus journey home was so spiritually refreshing I cannot describe it myself. Orchard Road was bustling outside the bus window, but I was so quiet, so calm inside. And that is when you see things so clearly.

Recently it's been frustrating. Everything so much out of control, I am in denial about it. I pretend I don't care, at least I don't want to.

But how is this me? A friend shared with me how I used to be someone she looked up to, especially during the Olevel period. I reflected on it and I guess I am a bit of a disappointment now considering my current state. Oh, how I'm so caught up with self-doubt and escapism. The 16 year old me would have never approved.

And now I'm 18. Just because it's more difficult, suffocating and demanding doesnt mean it's downwards from here. I should have known that.

So here I am, for the umpteenth time, refreshed and ready to go. Just in time for the terms in fact.

And this time, I promise, this will last. 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

This is my shot at my calling. Through His grace. I will glorify.