Dear brain,

Are you happy now? After all I put in, you screw up? What’s wrong with you? All the time I spent, when they were laughing all the way, going out and stuff, I was with you helping you. And now what? You’re trying to tell me that it was all for nothing? I can't believe you, really. I can’t take it anymore. I put in a way lot for nothing, you tell me? Explain, explain to me why did I end up like this.

Im losing everything. I can’t help it but I am. Friends? My clique? I bet im just that girl who sits there acting childish. Come on, im the youngest, im supposed to be immature? Nobody takes me seriously. He was my best friend here. But now he has a girlfriend and all he does is talks and talks and talks. What about me? I give up so much just to belong, just to show that im not what you think I am, but this is what I get? Fine. Great.

Ok. Right. Maybe I shouldnt blame you. It was me. Ok? I was wrong for that confidence. I thought that everything would be fine, that I was well prepared after all I have put in. I was wrong ok? I am always wrong. Hmph.

And I thought that I could make them proud for once. How do you expect me to go to Beijing with a peace of mind? Huh? Its like this now. And there’s no way back.


I prepared, I worked, I strived. Why isn’t it working? What do you want me to do now? I have nothing. I am nothing.

I give up.


Love, nianci.