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Thursday, March 24, 2011 Don't know why
It's a little like this:
It's a feeling that wont go away, a quiet ache that lurks, a fine crack that is raging to be filled, it's a bitter cocktail of anger, sorrow and disappointment, it's like your whole body is gasping for air and you inhale and inhale but it's never going to be enough and you always feel cold in the warmest places and you let your mind wander to dark corners (you're safe there) and you get lost in your thoughts and you wont look people in the eye (they'll never see what you're holding inside) and then you build walls around you and you distract yourself with sex, drugs and alcohol (you don't know how to feel anymore) and then you hope to disappear. And it feels like the only way out of this is to rip yourself apart and keep that aching muscle they call your heart away from youself. You see, it feels a little like that, exactly like how it did years ago. You see, I still bite my nails. ----------------------------------------------- And I don't know why. |
First there are the ones who read it, listen to what is said and absorb it, all of it. Then they draw an impression of her in their minds, and she stays like that to them until she does not matter, just because they are simple enough to take it all in, every single piece of it. 
