Yes, i am aware that i’ve come to a place where nothing around me seems to affect me, that im not moved by anyone anymore. You call it walls i build around me, denying anyone any access to come in, not even come close. You say because of these “walls” i choose to be oblivious, i choose to be ignorant to all the other hearts around me. Yes, maybe you’re right. Maybe i did just choose to be the bitch i appear to be, to be cold-hearted, to be heartless, to be selfish. But you dont know. You dont know how bad this heart’s been broken. You dont know how long it took to superglue the million broken pieces of this heart together. But I do. And I’m telling you, superglue is not cheap, and even if it isn’t expensive, i’d still wouldn’t bring myself to go through all of that again. Because i know exactly the feeling of waking up feeling so empty as you watched yet another person walk out of your life the night before, i know exactly the feeling of trying to breathe because you have to, and not want to. i know it all too well. and ever since i promised myself i wouldnt let this happen to me again, ever since i built these “walls” of mine, i’ve never felt ant safer, i’ve never felt any less vulnerable, i’ve never felt any stronger. so please, dont take this away from me.

ok, another one i wrote when i was bored. this one's a wee bit more relevant to me, i guess?

Labels: writing the unwritten, you