Today we talked about someone close who seems to have drifted further and further away. When mentioning him/her, we took on a tone of disapproval, a tone of disbelief which also carried a tinge of indifference. Like it was normal, almost like we could relate.

I guess we do see ourselves in him/her after all, at least I do. How we mould ourselves to be aligned with definition someone else throws at us and change to become the most comfortable in tandem with the people we are surround ourselves with, baffles me. We define ourselves based on what we'd want someone else to see in ourselves. Because somehow the way we see ourselves becomes less important, less worthy. It's almost like we dont really need to deal with ourselves anymore, I'm living for someone else to love anyway. We always choose the easy way out, to allow someone else to define us. Slowly, we allow it to become more difficult to look deep into our souls and honestly accept every weakness and strength we possess because of the fear that it's not attractive enough for someone else's liking.

We allow every moment of our weakness to be concealed behind bright eyed smiles and loud but empty laughter. But deep inside we're aching of betrayal and guilt, which we also conveniently sweep under the rug.

So which part of ourselves wins? So who do we eventually choose to become?

To suppress, deny, conceal and hide. All is done to impress, to fit in, to be normal. 


But is anyone actually ever normal?

Labels: everyday's bits and pieces, running in my head and heart, writing the unwritten