If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.
We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.
There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).
And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.
And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.
Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.
The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.
Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.
When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.
Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community. And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.
Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself
Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.
You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.
Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.
It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.
And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.
you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed itIf your heart is bleeding make the best of it There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

 the view tonight. picture by Ms Susan.

--------

BREAKING NEWS. 

i never thought that i would actually say this, but i think i enjoy studying now. :) i know right? i mean, it must be because of the freedom of choice when it came to the selection of subjects, i am now enjoying all my subjects. and my teachers too! 

Maths teacher: 

Nianci, your eclipses cannot be too sharp. It should take the shape of a football. If this were to be a shape of your football, all your opponents would go blind. 

Mr TimothyTay (History): 

Yes, it is justified to say that Robert Pattinson is extremely good looking, if pale looking drunks are your thing.

(sidenote: oh, i love how almost everyone in school despises everything to do with Twilight or Robert Pattinson) :)

Mr DanielTay (Physics):

(aircond in class breaks down) Stop talking, stop dissipating energy, then the room will cool down. (a while later) eh? i think the aircond's working ehh, i can feel the breeze. you should feel the breeze in a while, you know, projectile motion.

Mr Chan (Chemistry):

After the molecules gain enough energy to overcome the bonds within the molecules, the atoms of the respective elements shout FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! *waves fist in the air.

i cant recall what Ms Ho (General Paper) or Mdm Jen (Project Work)  had said that was particularly interesting. BUT,both of them are as awesome as the rest. Ms Ho is witty and sarcastic beyond means and Mdm Jen is the most animated teacher i've met yet. :)

Conclusion: I like my teachers, i like studying. ilikestudying. ILIKESTUDYING.

And my class is retarded as ever. I swear to you. Check this out

Classmate #1: Hey, do you have eyedrops? My contacts are getting dry. 

Classmate #2: No, but i have alcohol.

like =.= right. 

just a brief update to prove to the world that i am still breathing. :)

but that doesnt mean i dont miss IJ 2009 or OH 2009. :( 

i miss you guys. i hope everything's great for you wherever you are. :)

ok, need to hit the sacks. :) been having trouble waking up. 

goodnight world. 

 

OH, I JUST REMEMBERED.

(and we're having icecream tomorrow to celebrate!)

p.s: can you smell the holidays already? i can! i can! :)

p.s.s: is your big toe longer than the rest? because mine isnt. :S (it isnt just me right?)

the leadership camp was ze bomb!

hohoho, will update if i can manage to get the photos.

right. :))

i am going to church regularly again from this saturday onwards.

because i promised to make time for Him  during camp.

let's just say devotion today was a calling. :)

this saturday, Nianci is going to bogey in front of the whole hall,

how embarassing is that? 

when i couldnt even dance to save my life. :(

stay tuned.

Nianci's lucky numbers for 2009:

48, 6, and 1. :))

  

quoting from Kat's bedroom:

the inspiration to all women,

the wakeup call that makeup, looks and age might not be everything. :))

  

seriously, i had goosebumps and 

this is the first time tears actually came to my eyes listening to some one sing.

really, really people. watch this.

i had tears for the whole time she was singing.

and please, please do look at simon's face.
    

Susan Boyle-I dreamed a dream.
   

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting.
There was a time ...then it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hopes were high and life worth living,
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid,
When dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side.
He filled my days with endless wonder,
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came.

And still I dream he'll come to me
And we will live the years together!
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream
I dreamed.

Good luck, Susan. :))

there is only 200 hours, 40 minutes and 29 more seconds till the MYE.

its obvious who's stressed. dang. im a bit lagging behind.

suck-ish much.

pray nianci, pray.

hello, and bye bye term 2 week 1. :))

i thought you were going to be easy.

good job. you managed to prove me wrong.

from practice, to sound check, to more practice, addmath test and finally 2 essays.

i'd say you'd put up a good fight. :))

had a hard time waking up in the morning though.

 

SYF is in 3 days! and Agnes said she can hear me. woohoo!!!

now for the sound... :))

(pray for the one and only CHIJ Concert Band, people!)

 

Flight. i hope i do well for this one, or else i might be seriously demoralised. and i would also get a bottle of apple tea from sherlyn, but that is not relevent. :))

goodbye people. MYEs mugging awaits. :))

people. you shall all be my witnesses.

NIANCI WILL MAKE TIME.
i wanna be a time making machine.

i wanna make time for God, for my studies, and for myself.

most importantly God. :))

  

please lord, help me.